Let’s Get Serious
The original purpose of this blog was to entertain my friends with the silly and ridiculous things one has to go through when online dating. It obviously will continue to have silly and ridiculous blogs. But sometimes I’m going to have to get serious. Women go through a lot with not just online dating, but dating in general and dealing with men in public as well. I’m sure that this isn’t true of all men and all women. I’m just going with my experiences. Cue Madonna’s “What It Feels Like For a Girl” because I’m gonna show YOU what online dating is like for a girl.
I’ve used this pic in a previous post (#9 There’s Jokes and Then There’s…) but I really needed to include it in this post as well. This kind of joke is unacceptable. Joking about roofies and date rape is NEVER ok. And this is the kind of stuff that women have to put up with. Not only do we have to deal with guys trying to roofie and rape us, we have to deal with guys who think that’s funny. One time in college I thought I saw a guy put something in my drink and then go back to his group of buddies. There were about 5 of them and they stood around watching me and my friends. I couldn’t be positive that he actually put something in there but just the thought of it and then seeing him and his buddies with creepy smiles on their faces made me sick to my stomach. Guys, try putting yourself in my shoes in that situation. How would that make you feel?
There’s another reason why dating is treacherous for women. According to Huffpost “At Least a Third of All Women Murdered in the U.S. Are Killed by Male Counterparts”. (Read the article here: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5927140?utm_hp_ref=tw). This is one of the reasons I scrutinize profiles so much.
This message was sent to me completely unsolicited. Who just gives out their phone number to a complete stranger? Not only that but straight off the bat with the sexual innuendos. Or the not so much innuendo. There probably are girls out there who are just as forward and send the same kind of messages. But most guys who receive these messages don’t have to worry that the woman on the other end of the message is going to rape and kill them. It’s just really annoying to repeatedly get messages where the guy just wants to have sex with you. That’s not what I’m looking for, thanks. And that’s what’s listed on my profile as well so it shouldn’t be a shock to you.
Why is it that guys can be sexually open and not get called names, but a woman who is sexually open and adventurous is called a whore? Or a slut? Would you really refer to someone you want to date as a whore? The reverse is also true. If a woman doesn’t want to have sex with a guy or be sexually open, she’s a prude. Or because she doesn’t openly talk about sex, she doesn’t have any sexual feelings and is just uptight. Also, have you noticed there are really no male words for whore, slut or prude? These words are pretty much defined as female words. Why must there be two separate rules for men and women? It’s just like a guy who is forceful is respected while a girl who is forceful is a bitch. Guys, stop using these words to describe women. Girls, stop using these words against each other. JUST STOP.
This guy messaged me and I responded. His next message was that he didn’t realize I was 34 and was worried that I was out of my prime. I can’t even remember what I replied to him but his next line was saying that I needed to bring my A game. Needless to say, I stopped responding. So he continues to message me. There’s actually more messages that I didn’t take screen shots of. I haven’t blocked him because he’s not being rude or anything and I’m just curious as to how long it will take for him to stop messaging him. It’s kind of the rule of online dating that if someone doesn’t reply or stops replying, it’s because they aren’t interested. Yet this guy keeps messaging me. JUST STOP.
Same thing with this guy. You can clearly see that I have told him I am not interested. Yet, he repeatedly messages me. When will guys understand that no means no? We don’t think it’s cute that you keep trying. We won’t change our mind just because you are persistent. JUST STOP.
Now this guy has never messaged me. Yet, he “visits” my profile at least once a day, sometimes more. But because he’s never messaged me, I can’t block him. I guess visiting a profile every day is not block-worthy. But I find it incredibly creepy. Again, persistence will not change my mind. What do you think you’ll accomplish looking at my profile every day? JUST STOP.
And another (previously posted on #11 Nicknames/Pet Names)! As I mentioned before, this guy gave me 10 MINUTES before asking me why I didn’t answer him. Something else guys need to realize: I don’t owe you anything. Including an explanation as to why I didn’t answer your message. It’s my prerogative. JUST STOP.
One more, just in case you thought it was only those two guys. (Pssst! It’s not.)
Ok, say it with me people: I DON’T OWE YOU ANYTHING!!! This guy messaged me both on OKC and POF. I don’t have to give you an explanation or “tell you what a guy has to do”. I haven’t messaged you back and it doesn’t matter which app you use, I won’t message you. JUST STOP.
No. That is not the problem. Take responsibility. Women have no obligation to reply to you. Let’s go over this ONE. MORE. TIME. We owe you nothing. If women aren’t replying to you, maybe it’s because of how you are messaging them. JUST STOP.
This reminds me of something horrific that occurred in California this past May. Elliot Rodger went on a shooting spree as a punishment for all the women that were never attracted to him and refused to date him. (For more information please go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_Isla_Vista_killings). I am not in any way saying the guy above is anything like Elliot Rodger. Or any of the other guys in my posts are evil or murderers. All I’m saying is that there is a preponderance of misogynistic men out there. Men that feel like women are objects to be used and discarded. Men that feel like women owe them something. It frustrates me and sickens me. Women are either whores, sluts or prudes. We just can’t win when it comes to sex. This is our culture, people. Wake up. Insist on changing this dogma. This affects all women. Your mothers, your sisters, your daughters, YOU.