Frequently during the dating process I run into guys that seemed to have skipped kindergarten. It’s like they’ve never been taught manners or politeness or just plain old being nice! Sometimes you have to wonder if they think before speaking (or typing, for that matter). Although, I guess it’s a good thing that they don’t because then I know early on that I don’t want to continue to interact with them! Case in point: I’d been chatting with this guy for several weeks. We hadn’t met yet because he currently lives out of state but comes back to Wilmington once a month to see family. We were planning on getting together at some point during one of his visits. So during these weeks we’ve been chatting, getting to know each other and joking around a little. Then today he sends me this little gem:
I actually just sat there and stared at the screen for a minute, shocked. Now, had this been sent to me by a close friend, I wouldn’t have even batted an eyelid and would probably have texted back something equally obnoxious. The difference being that I know my friends, and that I know that they value me as a person. I don’t know this guy well enough for him to talk to me that way. I have a problem with guys treating me with disrespect. It’s one of my biggest issues. If I feel at all disrespected, I get super defensive. So I type exactly what I would have said had this happened in person:
I clearly state that I’m taken aback by his comment. And he thinks it’s funny. I start thinking to myself, well I wouldn’t care if a friend said that to me, so I explain to him that I think it’s something you’d say to a buddy. You’d think that if you were interested in someone and you wanted to pursue a relationship with that someone, you’d try to not be offensive.
He still thinks it’s funny but gives a half hearted apology. I had nothing to say to that, so I just ignored it for the time being. He obviously gives it some thought and messages me later saying he ‘DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING VULGAR OR INAPPROPRIATE’. Are you kidding me?!?!?! Would you use the word “ass” to your boss? Would you use it in front of your little nieces or nephews? Do you go around to people you just met and ask them what their ass is up to today?
Grocery Bagger: “How are you doing today?”
Him: “Not too bad. How’s your ass today?”
Grocery Bagger: “…”
At this point, I’m getting a little riled up (it’s not that hard to do, I know). So I tell him what’s up. Especially since he’s keeps LOLing like it’s no big deal.
You don’t see anything POSSIBLY wrong??? At all??? Seriously, not at all??? He couldn’t have said, “I’m sorry you took it as disrespectful but that wasn’t my intention.” Nope. Not this guy. So I wished him luck and sent him on his way. Looking back, I should have known we weren’t a good match. I mean, he had a camo hat on in one of his pics. No guy who wears camo has ever been a good match for me. But alas, hind-sight is 20/20. So dear readers, what has YOUR ass been up to?