Dating is Hell

…and I've already heard Satan's pick up line

There’s Jokes and Then There’s…

One of the most common desired characteristics in a partner is a sense of humor.  Or according to 90% of profiles on dating websites it is.  Therefore, it makes sense that most people try to be funny in their profile.  Or they try to put something funny as their headline to grab your attention.  Obviously, that’s the point of the headline.  Some people, however, fail miserably in the funny department.  Take this fine fella:


Well it certainly caught my eye!  There’s two ways to look at this.  This guy thinks he’s a funny guy.  He thinks “what can I use as a headline that would be original and would make people laugh?”  Or maybe he thinks a woman would look at that and say “He likes boobies???  I have boobies!!!  It’s like we’re soul mates!!!” The problem is, he’s trying to attract WOMEN.  Not 8 year old boys.  Or maybe he is trying to attract 8 year old boys.  In which case, he’s going about it wrong.  Or not.  I can’t say for sure that there aren’t 8 year old boys on that website.  Back to my point.  You are 38.  Grow up.  Yes, women have breasts.  Congratulations on figuring that out.  You like breasts!  Congrats on that too.  Guess what?  So do most guys.  Or at least the straight ones.  Most women spend their lives trying to show men that they are more than just a pair of boobs with legs.  As a well endowed woman who grew boobs early, I know what that’s like.  I’ve been trying to get guys to look up since I was 9.  Seriously, even if you are trying to do it stealthily, we can still tell.  At least wait until we aren’t having a face to face conversation.  Ugh.  But I digress.  Sometimes the “I like boobies approach works”.  I have a friend who met his current wife while drunk at a bar holding a sign that said just that.  But I choose to think she just took pity on him.  😛

And then there’s the opposite of funny.  Check out this guy:


Guess what genius?  Date rape and roofies are NEVER funny topics.  Especially on a dating site where women are already trying to sort the creeps from the nice guys.  This guy actually sent me a message and I couldn’t help myself, I had to reply.  I sent him a message that stated simply that date rape and roofies are not funny and that anybody who has ever been a victim of either would not appreciate being reminded of it in this way.  I expected him to message me back telling me to lighten up and that it was just a joke but surprisingly enough, he replied with an apology and said he was changing his “First Date” section right away.  He did change it.  I checked.  But really, people.  I can’t believe he thought that was appropriate or even funny. There are a lot of things you can make fun of in this world.  Rape and the perception of women as objects to be used is not one of them.  The fact that a nail polish that detects roofies in drinks even needed to be created is very sad.  I could go on and on about this topic, as it is one that I’m very passionate about but I think you guys have had enough with the heavy for one night.


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