Dating is Hell

…and I've already heard Satan's pick up line

Story Time!

Sorry that I haven’t posted in a while.  I just haven’t been in a joking mood.  I find more and more things in online dating that are NOT funny especially the way that women are treated.  But let’s put that aside for now and let me tell you a little story.  I apologize for the lack of pictures, this was from before I started documenting this crazy journey.

I had been on OKC for several years, off and on.  Last Christmas, after a disastrous “relationship” with a guy, a friend suggested that I try POF.  So in the spirit of new beginnings, after the New Year I created a profile on there.  I started chatting with this guy and he seemed really nice.  We started talking about meeting up but after giving it some thought, I realized that I was still upset about the last guy and that this would just be rebound and I was not ready to start dating anybody.  I messaged this guy and told him that.  He messages me back, kind of angrily, asking me why I was on a dating site if I wasn’t ready to date.  I told him that I thought I was ready but when we started making plans to meet, I realized I wasn’t ready.  Obviously I didn’t purposefully lead him on.  He basically said “whatever” and that was that.

Being busy with work and whatnot, I didn’t go back to online dating for several months.  Once I did, I checked my OKC profile first and saw a message that this guy (from POF) had sent to me that said “I thought you weren’t ready to date?”.  Now, I should have known better and left it alone but for some reason, I don’t like thinking there are people out there thinking badly of me.  Well, unless I deserve it, of course 😛  So I message him back (on OKC) and tell him that it was an old profile and that I wasn’t actively using it when I told him I wasn’t ready to date.  He was very nice and pleasant and we started talking again.  A couple of days later we were chatting and I told him I was on my way out to hang out with my sister for the evening.  I got home late and noticed that he had written me a whole long story about his life.  Since it was late and I was tired, I figured that I would just reply to him in the morning.  In the middle of the night, my geriatric dog woke me up to go outside.  I let him out and while I was waiting for him to come back inside, I decided to re-read the message this guy had sent me and reply.  However, unbeknownst to me while I had been sleeping, he had messaged me again asking me what he said that made me “flake out”.  Waaaaaiiittt.  What?  I replied that I had told him that I was going out with my sister that night and that I had gotten home late and didn’t have time to read his message and reply.  Then sitting there in bed, waiting for my dog to get his little old butt back inside, I started getting angry.  One time I didn’t reply right away and he calls that flaking out?  What the hell?  All these alarms started going off in my head.  Again, a situation in which I didn’t owe this guy anything.  I had done nothing wrong.  So I messaged him again and told him that I felt insulted that he would say I flaked out after not responding ONCE, especially since I had already told him I would be busy.  I told him that it gave me a bad feeling and that I didn’t want to continue talking to him.  And then I blocked him.

Now remember, the first time I spoke with him was on POF.  The subsequent conversations and blocking were done on OKC.  A few days ago I saw that he visited my profile on POF.  Ugh.  Thankfully though, he has not contacted me.  But if he does, I’ll know better than to respond!


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One thought on “Story Time!

  1. I have come to the conclusion over the years that when it comes to dating people have a tendency to lose their perspective. Simple example when I was a young man in high school I met a girl from a neighboring college. We immediately hit it off and things were moving very rapidly. It was one of the highest highs of my young life. Unfortunately as is often the case the relationship abruptly came to a halt. Long story short she was a year ahead of me and was going to college the next year. Her previous relationship, of which I had none, was with an older man who went to college and when he returned he had changed and things ended very badly and she was extremely hurt. The breaks on are relationship were locked on full. Two days later when I saw her at a group function she was wearing some guys class ring and he was picking her up from our function, effectively keeping me from speaking to her.
    Having been my first love I was decimated. It for so bad that my teachers and friends at school were calling my parents to make sure I was okay. Then her teachers contacted me to see what was going on because she was acting oddly as well. One of the few things that made me feel better was to drive by her house out in the country and leave a single red rose in her mailbox. She had to know they were from me because I had given her roses several times during our brief but intense relationship. No angry siblings or shotgun toting father came after me but in hindsight I often wonder if that behavior today would be considered stalking. It was not intended as such and I assume she knew that because there were no negative consequences from the behavior.
    All in all it probably took me 25-28 yeas to learn how to deal with the opposite sex on a manner that most likely at times leave them searching their heads wondering how and when what they thought was a fairly normal well balanced individual lost his damn mind. In hindsight I have the same question.
    Now don’t get me wrong the female of the species has the exact same capacity for craziness when it comes to dating. I have fortunately never been on the receiving end but my college roommate had his share. I will never forget the girl he met at the bar Saturday night that took him to meet her parents for brunch Sunday morning. Despite all alarms going off full tilt he continues to see her. She had her own apartment and my roommate became scarce. Finally after not seeing him for about a week and a half we got together and he told me he had been busy running around to animal shelters in his free time because the girl he was dating wanted to adopt a newborn kitten that had lost its mother and had to be bottle fed. I immediately broke into uncontrollable laughter. I explained to my buddy that his girlfriend was searching for and had found a surrogate baby for them to raise. Well I don’t think I’ve ever seen the light bulb turn on so quick in my life. They continued to date but it eventually went south and she pursued him for at least a year after.
    The point that I was trying to make was that at times depending upon our experience and mental development I think we all have a tendency to lose perspective, read more into messages and conversations, as well as lose perspective when it comes to response time. The key I believe is to try and weed out those people who have not gotten over that part of their dating relationships. My last dating breakup ended up with me telling the woman I was seeing that I had behaved badly in multiple relationships in the past and that if she did not think this was a good relationship for her to be in then I would respect that and wish her well. It definitely was not the response she had expected and in a week or so she contacted me and we started seeing each other again and things went well for the most part.
    So in conclusion I think you have to wade through a great deal of relationship immature people before you can find one that you are willing to take the next step with.
    Good luck, keep writing, and sorry for the ramble and what I am sure are numerous punctuation errors.


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