Dating is Hell

…and I've already heard Satan's pick up line

It’s a Small World After Aaaaaallllll

Now that I’ve got that tune stuck in your head (you’re welcome), let me tell you about the small world that is online dating. It never fails that when you go out to your local bar, you run into some people from high school. That is the curse of living in a small state. But seeing how many profiles are on these dating apps, you think “oh! Look at all these people who have no connection to me whatsoever!” Browsing through all these interesting possibilities, I see a profile of a man I find attractive. We start chatting and after a few days I get this intense craving for sushi so I decide to ask him out to go get some sushi. The day before our date, I am chit chatting with a coworker and tell her I have a date with a guy named “Marcus”. 

“I know him”, she says right off the bat. 

“Come on. There’s no way you know all the Marcuses in the state.” 

“I guarantee you I know him.”

So I show her his picture. Sure enough, she produces pictures of him on her phone! They had dated previously but we’re not currently seeing each other. Now for some background information: I have some deal breakers listed clearly in my online dating profile. One of them is kids. I’m not a kid person and am not interested in dating someone with them. My coworker knows this. So she asks me:

“How well do you know him?”

“Not well, we just chatted a little bit but I was desperate for some sushi and just decided to ask him out. Why?

“Did he tell you he has a kid?”

“Uh… No.”

“And last time I talked to him, he didn’t have a job, or a car and lived with his grandma.”

“I see.”

“He didn’t tell you any of this?”

“Obviously not. And it doesn’t say anywhere in his profile that he has kids!!!”

“Well, I know him and I know you. And trust me, he’s not your type.”

Crap. I had already made a date with him for the next day! Now what? I didn’t want to go out with this guy who had previously dated a coworker of mine and conveniently forgot to mention he had a kid (after reading my profile which specifically states no kids). I felt bad canceling at the last minute but how awkward would it be going out with him when I had all this insider information on him? So I decided to cancel our date. 

 This user disabled their account. Well that’s that, I guess! It seems you just can’t avoid running into old high school and college people, old exes and other people’s exes even in the large pool that is online dating apps.


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