Spam Land
Spam is the reality of life with technology. I’m sure after the first website was created on the internet, the first spam was quickly linked to it and sent a message to all the first users about how they can enlarge their penis at home or how to become rich quick. You can’t have technology without someone abusing it for their benefit. As soon as a newer, better spam detector is created, someone creates newer and better spam. Ain’t life grand?
So I guess it was only a matter of time before people started abusing dating apps to spam people or to use it for something it was not made for. As annoying as it’s been to have to go through profile after profile that suck and aren’t at all what I’m looking for, at least until this point these profiles were still for dating/hooking up which is what they were made for in the first place. But just within the last week or so, I’ve seen profiles that are made to promote a business, not a person. What’s worse, Bumble has a business setting! If someone wants to look for a new job or for a specific business, they can just log out of the dating version and log onto the business version! It’s that simple! So why would people use the dating version to promote a business? Just to bring more annoyingness into my life, I guess. Let’s see who’s up first…
For fuck’s sakes! If I wanted to find a new gym or fitness trainer, I’d go looking for one! Although I did discuss this with one of my friends, and it could be a smart way to get more training clients/gym members. Girls are on the dating site, see this guy’s hot body and go to the gym in hopes that he will meet them and fall in love with them and yadda yadda yadda. Now this guy has more clients and more money coming in. But I find that very deceitful. This guy is probably married, or not even looking to date but luring women into his gym by preying on their desire for love. Orrrrrrrrr… I’m reading way too much into this and this guy just thought it would be a good way to get more clients and he has no intention of duping anybody. I mean, It doesn’t specifically say anywhere in the profile that he’s interested in dating. BUT HE’S ON A DATING SITE!!!!! And now he’s ruining it for everybody else. Ugh. Moving on to the next guy.
Again, this is a DATING SITE!!!! People are on here to find dates. Not to find a doctor or holistic health practitioner or whatever. What I think makes this profile extra skeevy is that he’s just looking to “help” women. Why just women? Wouldn’t seeing both men and women double your client base? Also, how does he make money if it’s free? And how does it work remotely?!?! I just can’t see what this guy’s angle is or what he’s actually offering, or what he wants. I’m just super creeped out by the whole thing. This one definitely screams SPAM. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought that I accidentally clicked on an ad in the corner of the screen and ended up there. But I definitely didn’t. It was a straight up dating profile. Let’s look at #3 now.
What the fuck, dude? No, I don’t want your new single. I AM single. That’s why I’m on here, you jackass. Also, the whole “my manager said this would be a good idea” is definitely not a turn on. Like you can’t even date by yourself? You need your manager to tell you what to do? His manager probably wrote that profile! In which case, he needs a new manager that actually has good grammar and punctuation. And no, I did not black out this guy’s name because he just sounds like a straight up douche. At least the other two seemed like small business owners just trying to expand their business without having to pay for advertising (now, that business may or may not include kidnapping and other nefarious things but I digress). This guy has a fucking record company!!! If they can’t get you more fans in any other way than spamming a dating app, you should also get a new record label to represent you while you’re getting a new manager.
There you have it, folks. A whole new circle of hell for dating: spam dating profiles. As if dating wasn’t sucky enough; now you get spammed too.
P.S. Spamming isn’t the name of a fetish too, is it? Cause if it is, that last sentence takes on a whole new meaning…
Dating is Hell 